How Representative is ‘Love Is Blind: Habibi’?

While this version of the Love is Blind franchise follows the show's structure — a first phase where participants talk in pods, followed by an engagement, a second phase of getting to know each other on holiday, and a possible final marriage — participants stay in separate rooms during the second phase, do not drink alcohol, and do not engage in sexual activities.

Online, many Arabs shared theirappreciation for the show's diverse cultures and commitment to traditional family values. Non-Arabs alsoenjoyed the "emphasis on family respect," "honesty between the couples," and "refreshing" absence of sexual pressure.

However, across social media platforms, non-Arabs voiced theiralarm at the "control and abuse the men are displaying," calling them "toxic" and "stuck in the dark ages." A reality TV show will never represent a whole society. Yet, Season 1 of Love is Blind: Habibi ignited heated online debates between Arabs and non-Arabs.

"Amongst Arabs, the on-screen debates are the same as debates off-screen," says Nassar. "Most Arab women disagree with controlling behavior, and most Arab men acknowledge the reasons behind it."

"What I found surprising was the lack of need to perform empathy and openmindedness, which is not typical when you're socialized as a man in this society," says Osama El-Far, an Egyptian who works in policy in the U.K. and requested to use a pseudonym for fear of being identified. "In a cosmopolitan context, you get points for at least performing a certain type of open-mindedness. It was interesting to see that it was more important to score points by performing the conservative, traditional masculinity to remind the world 'we are men, even if we're dressed this way and are on this type of show.'"

Online, conversations across the diaspora and different cultures were more complicated — does Love is Blind: Habibi represent what it's like to date in South West Asian and North African (SWANA) cultures? "I'm surprised that people are questioning whether or not this is a cultural reality," says Nassar. "If we're talking about individuals, individuals differ. But if we're talking about culture, yes, it is representative."

Many Arab women confirmed that they weren't surprised by "toxic" behavior like forbidding their future wives to dance in public or proudly exhibiting jealousy. Equally, they pointed out that some of the other criticisms, like theconcern that a couple that hasn't shared privacy shouldn't get married, show a lack of understanding of SWANA cultures.

"From an outside perspective, it's easy to think that the way the Middle East facilitates marriage or relationships is sexist," says Ruth Rizkallah, an Egyptian American who works in the legal industry. "My mom was introduced to my dad; they got engaged within two or three months of knowing each other and married six months later. This is the norm."

"The patriarchy is the patriarchy, but to say that Arab men are particularly sexist is funny to me," she continues. "In America, do men treat you with respect if you are not their girlfriend or wife? The answer, for the most part, is no."

Nassar agrees with Rizkallah that men in other Love is Blind franchises expect their future spouses to change but aren't as vocal as the men on Habibi. Their behavior does not necessarily reflect traditions as much as they claim.

"The men were picking and choosing the bits of traditional masculinity that give them power while relieving themselves of the duty to care for [their wife's] finances," notes El-Far. "They embraced traditional masculinity when it came to how women dressed or danced, but completely abandoned traditional masculinity when it came to the need to provide and care."

Moroccan participant Simo Nasrollah, who may be the mostcriticized participant on the show for his offensive and "arrogant" comments, is an example. "His family is probably embarrassed by him ... I felt a lot of it was bluffing for a Western audience," Rizkallah says.

Nassar doesn't think the show was geared towards a Western audience, given that participants were strongly encouraged to speak in Arabic. She points out that while Western social media was prompted to debate what it means to balance tradition and modernity, Arab social media was primarily invested in whether love stories are real. "It's not a secret that we live in a more conservative society," she says. "People are mostly making fun of the jealousy, the over-materialism, and the machismo."

A lesser discussed aspect of how Love is Blind: Habibi, doesn't reflect mainstream Arab society is that all participants come from a wealthy background. "These women are well-educated entrepreneurs in their mid-30s, unmarried - unheard of in smaller areas," says Rizkallah. "They are established, so they don't have to tolerate this behavior. Women in lower classes don't always have that power and financial freedom."